Things we've learned from videogames

I found a really funny list of 101 things we've learned from video games. I copied the funniest ones. If you're bored and have time, try to read them all.

1. It’s OK to kill people.

2. Dying doesn’t really matter much either.

3. If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.

12. Anything in the world can be made from food, wood and gold.

15. When you get shot, you don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.

19. If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way you came. You’ve clearly missed something.

27. When you look down, you can’t see your feet.

31. Always be sure to smash any crates you come across, they will always contain good things.

34. War is the best fun ever.

35. It doesn’t matter where you shoot someone, even if it’s in the foot, as long as you do it enough times there will eventually be an immediate transition between alive and dead.

36. There is no practical difference between walking into a weapon and picking it up.

40. Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.

51. Modern tank warfare will be replaced in the future by building a very large number of tanks on the battlefield itself, then attacking the enemy’s strongest point head-on with hundreds of them at once.

56. The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if you wait for a few seconds

57. Explosives are not stored, as you might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing next to them.

65. Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.

69. Food can heal most serious injuries instantly.

72. Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and fire wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.

90. The world is packed with unexplored ruins, most of which are packed to the rafters with treasure. Despite this, no one has yet bothered to explore them.

93. Nazis/Alien Invaders/Evil Megacorps are always leaving medical supplies around for their opponents to heal themselves with. Their own soldiers are under strict instruction not to touch them. Ever.

95. You can probably fit another rocket launcher in your rucksack if you carefully rearrange those four ammo clips and that coke can.

100. “Ninja” is the most common occupation on the planet, just above “Secret Agent” and “Alien in Disguise”.

Funny Stuff & Myspace layouts

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e-mail

Hey everyone. I finally got my own e-mail. codyrichardc@gmail.com

Arroyo Verde

My last cross country meet was on Thursday. We ran at Arroyo Verde park on hilly, dirt trails. We started and I couldn't keep up with Sean or Spencer because there were just too many people (120 ish). We ran on grass for a while then we made a U-turn. Another U, and one more, and we were running up an asphalt slope. That turned into dirt really fast, and we went up really far and then we ran down a huge hill. Up and down on a dusty dirt trail about 5 times. I had been running wth Spencer up to here, but I slowly lost him on the hills. Then we had to turn right as we came down a hill, turn left and jump off a 1.5" cliff onto grass. I saw Spencer down a ways so I went up one notch catch up. So then I saw Evan and Alan ------- from church so I said hi. After that I caught up to Spencer and we hauled up another HUGE hill of dirt. It wasn't very steep but it was long. Down,up, down, up, and then we made a U-turn to the left. Down a really long asphalt hill, right, U-turn to the left, home stretch. I was ahead of Spencer and I immediately passed one kid. Then another, and one more. Then I was neck and neck with some short kid. Short kids are really good at hills because they don't have to worry about their monster legs smacking the side of the hill and tripping because they only have stumps. The home stretch on this course was probably 250 yards. I passed him and the he passed me and it was back and forth until we got to the chute. He kicked it up one last time and I couldn't so he got 19th and I got 20th. I'm sick so I'm gonna take a nap now.

Mile time

I ran a 6 minute 25 second mile today. I kept up with Sean Dore until halfway through the last lap and he kicked it up. I waited until about three quarters of the way through to all-out sprint. I caught up with Sean in the last five seconds or so and we finished in a tie. I can't seem to get a better time than six twenty to six thirty no matter how much I run. My last cross country meet is this Thursday.

The meet

I ran in the cross country meet today. Our school won the girls division because we have Hannah Kirkegaard. She's the fastest girl in Ventura County or something. So after the girls finished the guys lined up at the starting line. Of course the losers that can't run for beans line up at the very front so all the fast people are stuck in back. So I'm in back with all the slow people that know they're slow and fast people that got pushed back. The siren went off and everyone started running. After about ten steps some idiot that was right next to me on my left starts sprinting and cuts me off. And because we were still in sight of the crowd I didn't push his sorry butt over. So I started doing a one-footed hop trying to slow down, when the guy kicks me in my shin. So I fell forward and landed on my already aching wrist. I accidentally cussed a little bit, pushed myself off, and took off after our slowest guy. I passed him. Then I passed one of my friends named Nathan. So I eventually caught up with Spencer who is our third fastest runner and I told him what happened (still running). He shook his head and smiled. So we're not even a quarter of a mile into the race and I have a kicked shin and a fractured wrist that had recently held all of my weight and my downward velocity. Spencer and I ran side by side until about a mile in to our two and a half mile race we saw our fastest guy, Sean, walking on the side of the path. He wouldn't talk to us so we passed him and later found out that he had cramped up really bad. Then I realized that with Sean out of the race, we had no chance of winning on our own course, so I took off to at least get in the top twenty because from what I could tell I was in thirtieth. I could hear Spencer pounding it out behind me so I went faster. My hand is still killing me and my leg isn't helping much either. I passed the crowd that had moved from the starting line to the halfway point and I saw Sean's dad. I told him something was wrong with Sean. Sean was strong and if he was walking something was seriously wrong. I kept going and then I heard Spencer so I turned around and he was right there. We had three turns and four straightaways left. We kept running and passing people and then we were on the home stretch and I heard some dad saying "Run Paul, He's right on top of you!". I looked at the kid in front of me and he looked at the guy and nodded. Then he started sprinting. I smiled. There was no way I was going to give him the pleasure of beating me. I sprinted after him. Then I passed him. Then I finished. I got twentieth place out of a hundred something. Spencer got twenty-second. Sean got rid of his cramp and went from sixtieth or something all the way back to twenty-sixth. It was a good (good=painful) race. I kind of typed this like it was a made up story, but this is what actually happened.