I found a really funny list of 101 things we've learned from video games. I copied the funniest ones. If you're bored and have time, try to read them all.
1. It’s OK to kill people.
2. Dying doesn’t really matter much either.
3. If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.
12. Anything in the world can be made from food, wood and gold.
15. When you get shot, you don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.
19. If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way you came. You’ve clearly missed something.
27. When you look down, you can’t see your feet.
31. Always be sure to smash any crates you come across, they will always contain good things.
34. War is the best fun ever.
35. It doesn’t matter where you shoot someone, even if it’s in the foot, as long as you do it enough times there will eventually be an immediate transition between alive and dead.
36. There is no practical difference between walking into a weapon and picking it up.
40. Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.
51. Modern tank warfare will be replaced in the future by building a very large number of tanks on the battlefield itself, then attacking the enemy’s strongest point head-on with hundreds of them at once.
56. The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if you wait for a few seconds
57. Explosives are not stored, as you might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing next to them.
65. Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.
69. Food can heal most serious injuries instantly.
72. Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and fire wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.
90. The world is packed with unexplored ruins, most of which are packed to the rafters with treasure. Despite this, no one has yet bothered to explore them.
93. Nazis/Alien Invaders/Evil Megacorps are always leaving medical supplies around for their opponents to heal themselves with. Their own soldiers are under strict instruction not to touch them. Ever.
95. You can probably fit another rocket launcher in your rucksack if you carefully rearrange those four ammo clips and that coke can.
100. “Ninja” is the most common occupation on the planet, just above “Secret Agent” and “Alien in Disguise”.
My last cross country meet was on Thursday. We ran at Arroyo Verde park on hilly, dirt trails. We started and I couldn't keep up with Sean or Spencer because there were just too many people (120 ish). We ran on grass for a while then we made a U-turn. Another U, and one more, and we were running up an asphalt slope. That turned into dirt really fast, and we went up really far and then we ran down a huge hill. Up and down on a dusty dirt trail about 5 times. I had been running wth Spencer up to here, but I slowly lost him on the hills. Then we had to turn right as we came down a hill, turn left and jump off a 1.5" cliff onto grass. I saw Spencer down a ways so I went up one notch catch up. So then I saw Evan and Alan ------- from church so I said hi. After that I caught up to Spencer and we hauled up anotherHUGE hill of dirt. It wasn't very steep but it was long. Down,up, down, up, and then we made a U-turn to the left. Down a really long asphalt hill, right, U-turn to the left, home stretch. I was ahead of Spencer and I immediately passed one kid. Then another, and one more. Then I was neck and neck with some short kid. Short kids are really good at hills because they don't have to worry about their monster legs smacking the side of the hill and tripping because they only have stumps. The home stretch on this course was probably 250 yards. I passed him and the he passed me and it was back and forth until we got to the chute. He kicked it up one last time and I couldn't so he got 19th and I got 20th. I'm sick so I'm gonna take a nap now.
I ran a 6 minute 25 second mile today. I kept up with Sean Dore until halfway through the last lap and he kicked it up. I waited until about three quarters of the way through to all-out sprint. I caught up with Sean in the last five seconds or so and we finished in a tie. I can't seem to get a better time than six twenty to six thirty no matter how much I run. My last cross country meet is this Thursday.
I ran in the cross country meet today. Our school won the girls division because we have Hannah Kirkegaard. She's the fastest girl in Ventura County or something. So after the girls finished the guys lined up at the starting line. Of course the losers that can't run for beans line up at the very front so all the fast people are stuck in back. So I'm in back with all the slow people that know they're slow and fast people that got pushed back. The siren went off and everyone started running. After about ten steps some idiot that was right next to me on my left starts sprinting and cuts me off. And because we were still in sight of the crowd I didn't push his sorry butt over. So I started doing a one-footed hop trying to slow down, when the guy kicks me in my shin. So I fell forward and landed on my already aching wrist. I accidentally cussed a little bit, pushed myself off, and took off after our slowest guy. I passed him. Then I passed one of my friends named Nathan. So I eventually caught up with Spencer who is our third fastest runner and I told him what happened (still running). He shook his head and smiled. So we're not even a quarter of a mile into the race and I have a kicked shin and a fractured wrist that had recently held all of my weight and my downward velocity. Spencer and I ran side by side until about a mile in to our two and a half mile race we saw our fastest guy, Sean, walking on the side of the path. He wouldn't talk to us so we passed him and later found out that he had cramped up really bad. Then I realized that with Sean out of the race, we had no chance of winning on our own course, so I took off to at least get in the top twenty because from what I could tell I was in thirtieth. I could hear Spencer pounding it out behind me so I went faster. My hand is still killing me and my leg isn't helping much either. I passed the crowd that had moved from the starting line to the halfway point and I saw Sean's dad. I told him something was wrong with Sean. Sean was strong and if he was walking something was seriously wrong. I kept going and then I heard Spencer so I turned around and he was right there. We had three turns and four straightaways left. We kept running and passing people and then we were on the home stretch and I heard some dad saying "Run Paul, He's right on top of you!". I looked at the kid in front of me and he looked at the guy and nodded. Then he started sprinting. I smiled. There was no way I was going to give him the pleasure of beating me. I sprinted after him. Then I passed him. Then I finished. I got twentieth place out of a hundred something. Spencer got twenty-second. Sean got rid of his cramp and went from sixtieth or something all the way back to twenty-sixth. It was a good (good=painful) race. I kind of typed this like it was a made up story, but this is what actually happened.
Today I went to school like any other day. I got picked up by my carpool, Dropped off outside the bandroom, and got my tuba out. Then I tested in band (I'm tied for first chair!), went to Algebra, took a nap. Woke up, went to break, didn't eat because I was fasting for grandpa, went to P.E. Dressed for P.E., went outside, saw some kid get pantsed. Then I laughed for ten minutes or so. Then Mr. Gonzales came and we got out the wave boards. Got my wave board and helmet and went in circles around my friends. Mr. Gonzales told us to come in so I came down a little hill, started a manual and hit my friend. I fell backwards and put my arm out to catch my fall. I should've rolled. I hit the ground and my arm started hurting really bad. I got up and Sean asked me if I was okay. I said yah because i'm uber macho. I picked up my board and put it away and then I felt dizzy. I told Sean and he got Mr. Gonzales and Mr. G said to go to the nurse so I held my arm and talked with Sean on the way down. We got there and the nurse was yelling at some kid and then she told some other kid to get out of his P.E. clothes and to wash his hands. So I just stood there for about five minutes with a throbbing arm. She finally looked at me and gave me ice to put on my arm. Then she started yelling at the other kid. I sat there for about fifteen minutes with ice on my wrist. Then she said to take the ice off. Sat there for about half an hour, and then she told me to put the ice back on. Then the school security gaurd came and gave me my backpack. The lady told me to change because I was in my P.E. clothes so I did. Then I tried to tie my shoe. It didn't work so I just tucked the laces in my shoe. And cause I did it with only my right hand the lady asked really rudely, "It hurts so bad you can't tie your shoe?". I stared at her for a while then I just started tieing it. Sorry this is written so wierd it's hard to type with one hand. So then the lady told me to call my mom. So I called her and my mom said she'd come pick me up. I sat down and put the ice back on my still throbbing hand. My mom came and took me to the doctor's. So I got an exam and x rays and the doctor told me I had a buckling fracture that should heal in 3 weeks. He gave me a brace and that really helped. My arm really hurts when I run, twist it, make a fist, put my fingers together, or raise my arm. I have a cross country meet tomorrow and I really want to go because its the second to last one this year(Sorry Emily!). I think I'm just gonna deal with the pain and run. FAST!
I ran a 6 minute 32 second mile today. One of my friends from cross country wasn't there so I couldn't set a very good pace. After school I ran cross country with a new girl, my friend Nathan, Mrs.Koontz, and some really slow kid named Isiah. We ran four miles but lost Isiah, so we ran another two miles trying to find him. If anyone cares, I have a meet at Anacapa on Thursday. Cim, you're welcome to come because you won't answer any one of your phones.
Hi Sami! Hi Wil! Ok. I am a tuba-playing, cross country running, near straight A, black belt. I play tuba. I'm in Anacapa's concert (expert) band. I'm tied for first chair right now and hope to be the lone first chair by the end of November. I am one of three tubas who are all pretty good. I tried out for Anacapa's cross country team at the start of the year. I made it in, got my bright green short-shorts, and started running. I can now run a 6 minute 23 second mile and I'm getting faster every week. My neighbor is also a runner so I've been trying to run with him. I consistently get about 20th in the meets. There are about 150 runners at each meet. My places have been: 25, 21, 24, 4 (most people were gone this day), and most recently 25. I run at least two miles every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I have 4 A's and two B's in school. I have B's in Algebra 1 and U.S. History. A's in Band, P.E., Science, and Language Arts. I despise math, science, and language arts. I have a black belt in tae kwon do and feel invincible. As long as my uncle Ben isn't around. One of my friends does tae kwon do with me and our other friends call us F.A.N.S.: Freaking Awesome Ninja Squadron. After our house flooded, I turned homeless because I was quickly tricked into giving up my room to my mom in exchange for the playroom. Of course, I was decieved and told I couldn't have a door, T.V., or computer in my 6 x 12 room. Great deal. I then negotiated and ended up with the office. Now I have a lock on my door, access to ALL of the downstairs while everyone is sleeping, AND a sliding glass door leading to my personal spa, which Jesse has agreed to clean for me whenever I ask. Awesome. I love my life.
Something I typed near the end of Summer but never bothered to post. I haven't posted in a while because Iv'e been busy all summer. Just for anyone who cares, my playlist on the right side is being updated every day (automatically). I ended the school year with A's and B's except for language arts (C). I started off the summer with the Averetts already in California so we had a sleepover almost every night. I think I was a day out of school when I went to Lake Nacimento with Trevor, the rest of the Longs, Tyler, and Ryan. And my family. Igot a really bad sunburn the first day and suffered through with a lot of manly pain. We were there from Thursday (?) to Monday... Tuesday morning. By the time Jesse and I were asleep, my mom and dad discovered that their bathroom's toilet had flooded half of the house. By Tuesday afternoon at least ten groups of people had entered and exited the house, whether surveying the damage, calming my mom, offering their houses for a day (Thank you!), or just blabbing with my dad. Tuesday night I spent the night at my friend Steven's house with my other friend Trevor. It was decided that my mom's bathroom and bedroom would be gutted along with the kitchen. My room, the dining, and the game room all need new floors.Blah, blah blah. I went to Kansas for eighteen days. We did a lot of really fun stuff like go to the waterpark where I did a flip off the high dive, overrotated, and landed on my back. Manly pain. We also went to an amusement park when it was so hot it was hard to have a good time. We also went on some bikerides and went to laser tag and some other stuff.
Yesterday we went to a craft store to get some stuff for Emily and we left Grandma at home with Jesse. No one had pulled any April fools jokes so Mike and I were trying to think of one to do to grandma. So we walked into the store and there were a whole bunch of balloons lined up next to the entrance. So Mike kiddingly said we could go home and say to grandma "Happy Birthday! April Fools, its not your birthday!" We couldn't think of anything better so thats what I did. I had a hard time stopping laughing it was fun.
I'm at Emily & Mike's house in Utah. I added 2 more funny pictures at the bottom. Emily doesn't have any wireless internet so she steals it from the neighbors and library down the street. I'm having fun. We were supposed to go to Salt Lake today but Jesse was sick. I don't know what else to say. "Retards, We all know one."
This is Tammy...I'm adding the pictures of Cody horrible hair cut. Do you see the hideousness? Don has been fired from that job. Check out the close up!
Look at the haircut my dad gave me! Look at it! Are you looking? Look at it! Ok... I'll post pictures later because I'm supposed to be asleep and the camera isn't working. Go to my mom's blog for the whole story! Mom's coming, got to go! bye!