Saturday, November 29, 2008

Things we've learned from videogames

I found a really funny list of 101 things we've learned from video games. I copied the funniest ones. If you're bored and have time, try to read them all.

1. It’s OK to kill people.

2. Dying doesn’t really matter much either.

3. If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.

12. Anything in the world can be made from food, wood and gold.

15. When you get shot, you don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.

19. If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way you came. You’ve clearly missed something.

27. When you look down, you can’t see your feet.

31. Always be sure to smash any crates you come across, they will always contain good things.

34. War is the best fun ever.

35. It doesn’t matter where you shoot someone, even if it’s in the foot, as long as you do it enough times there will eventually be an immediate transition between alive and dead.

36. There is no practical difference between walking into a weapon and picking it up.

40. Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.

51. Modern tank warfare will be replaced in the future by building a very large number of tanks on the battlefield itself, then attacking the enemy’s strongest point head-on with hundreds of them at once.

56. The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if you wait for a few seconds

57. Explosives are not stored, as you might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing next to them.

65. Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.

69. Food can heal most serious injuries instantly.

72. Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and fire wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.

90. The world is packed with unexplored ruins, most of which are packed to the rafters with treasure. Despite this, no one has yet bothered to explore them.

93. Nazis/Alien Invaders/Evil Megacorps are always leaving medical supplies around for their opponents to heal themselves with. Their own soldiers are under strict instruction not to touch them. Ever.

95. You can probably fit another rocket launcher in your rucksack if you carefully rearrange those four ammo clips and that coke can.

100. “Ninja” is the most common occupation on the planet, just above “Secret Agent” and “Alien in Disguise”.

1 comment:

MMIT (tam) said...

now that you have the basics of life down, why don't you go clean your room! :)love you, mom.